Tuesday 23rd September 2008
4 ½ Months and counting…
I like the sound of that, “Lekki Life”, sounds like something you’d find in an upscale inflight magazine or something you'd find in the FT Weekend Life & Arts section. I’ve just come back from the University of Lagos. I studied there for six years and it took me a whole six years to learn the correct way to chat up young ladies (I was discussing my early learning days with my driver, and it brought back good memories). I used to go up to them and tell them how beautiful they were while my friends sniggered in the background. It actually used to go very well until they caught a glance of my friends sniggering in the background. I got rid of my friends as I improved… It’s still a peaceful environment but plastered with signs warning students not to join cults (gangs). We never had that in our days, only wearing designer clothes (baffs) and chasing young ladies and looking for cars to go to parties in.
Now that the kids are back in school, my commute to/from VI/Lekki has become a many headed monster. Being a rookie (like Obama, as they say) I thought things were not so bad over the school holidays. 5.45am turned to 6am and then even to 6.30am and life was good. Now, try leaving the house at 1min after 6am and the traffic that will meet you outside your door will seem like rush hour in Tokyo (or rush hour in Lagos, as the Japanese would say).
Lagos definitely is not asleep at 6am, no sleepy early morning cock crowing at 6am. The cock was having a bath at 4am and had left the building by 5. One good result about this traffic is that I am forced to look at 4x4’s as a necessity. What with the rains (floods) and the fact that there is a coastal sandy road that can cut your trip from VI to Lekki down from 2hrs to 45mins and the fact that only with a 4x4 can you cross the intersection and run from Lasma or armed robbers or other undesirables, it is essential that I start saving up for my tooled up ML55 and woe betide any green environmentalist that gets in my way as I speed home over those sandy dunes…
Tuesday, 23 September 2008
Work Life Balance
Thanks Kemi and others leaving comments, keep da comments comin'
I returned last Friday from a business trip to Holland. I travelled Lagos – London – Brussels – Scheldepoort , Holland (by taxi) – Brussels – London – Abuja – Lagos. A bit tired after the long trip but I still went to sign in at the office Friday afternoon and I still got a telling off from my boss for not roaming my phone in the middle of nowhere in Scheldepoort, Holland.
I have begun to appreciate more and more the basis of owning one’s business in Nigeria. As your own boss, you are not beholden to outside forces that see no boundry between your work and personal lives and do not think twice before calling you on a Sunday morning as you prepare for church and telling you to bring yourself over to the office immediately to answer some questions on this and that.
Before coming back to work in Nigeria, I had sworn that I would not work for a bank (you have to sell your soul) and I would not live in Lagos (zero quality of life). Now I find myself working for a bank and living in Lagos. Hence selling my soul and loosing my life. This is obviously a misstep of biblical proportions. But in all of this, I am learning about life, being challenged, feeling totally stretched and in a rare quiet moment, actually enjoying my fast paced, emotionally taxing, challenging and demanding life. My comfort zone is still so far out on the horizon that I have to crane my neck and squint to see it. Maybe it will gradually sail back to join me.
I returned last Friday from a business trip to Holland. I travelled Lagos – London – Brussels – Scheldepoort , Holland (by taxi) – Brussels – London – Abuja – Lagos. A bit tired after the long trip but I still went to sign in at the office Friday afternoon and I still got a telling off from my boss for not roaming my phone in the middle of nowhere in Scheldepoort, Holland.
I have begun to appreciate more and more the basis of owning one’s business in Nigeria. As your own boss, you are not beholden to outside forces that see no boundry between your work and personal lives and do not think twice before calling you on a Sunday morning as you prepare for church and telling you to bring yourself over to the office immediately to answer some questions on this and that.
Before coming back to work in Nigeria, I had sworn that I would not work for a bank (you have to sell your soul) and I would not live in Lagos (zero quality of life). Now I find myself working for a bank and living in Lagos. Hence selling my soul and loosing my life. This is obviously a misstep of biblical proportions. But in all of this, I am learning about life, being challenged, feeling totally stretched and in a rare quiet moment, actually enjoying my fast paced, emotionally taxing, challenging and demanding life. My comfort zone is still so far out on the horizon that I have to crane my neck and squint to see it. Maybe it will gradually sail back to join me.
Tuesday, 16 September 2008
A learning experience...
If wishes were horses, beggers would ride, if I had the kind of work environment I am seeking, my life here would be ideal. But wishes are not horses, and beggers do not ride. If I had everything I wanted, I wouldn't need God anymore.
Dear God, please guide my path because nobody has the right to hold my life in their hands and knead me like dough. You have given me all that I need to achieve, please guide me to do what I have to do and be creative with what you have given me so that I can possess my Canaan.
It is faint consolation, but at least I don't work for Lehman. Sorry, Lehman guys....
Munachi Okoye
Dear God, please guide my path because nobody has the right to hold my life in their hands and knead me like dough. You have given me all that I need to achieve, please guide me to do what I have to do and be creative with what you have given me so that I can possess my Canaan.
It is faint consolation, but at least I don't work for Lehman. Sorry, Lehman guys....
Munachi Okoye
Progress
PROGRESS
13/09/08
Don’t get me wrong, it is still very challenging. I was in the office this Saturday morning by 9.50am. This was after leaving the office the night before at 9.30pm trying to get an MOU out the door. I finally got to leave the office at about 12.30pm on Saturday to head for home and go and see my kids who I hadn’t seen all week, what with leaving the house at 6am and returning at 9pm every day this week.
I think my madam is gradually settling in based on her new membership in two wifes clubs. VGC Wife’s Club by dint of us enrolling our six year old boy in Saturday morning football, a prerequisite for any self respecting VGC wife with young boys. The second is the even move exclusive VGC returnees club. The returnees club is based around an outpost of returnees (mostly from the UK) whose initial stop-off point is the leafy surroundings of VGC , allowing you to aclimatise before venturing forth into the madness that is the rest of Lagos.
It was early evening time, we were in the VGC club by the pool chatting with 4 other members of the returnees club, talking about how they wish they had come over 4 years ago, me lounging on a pool lounger, after a swim with the kids in the pool, reading my one week old FT Weekend and biting into some nice suya accompanied by my small stout while our new house help was running round after the kids, weeeeeellllll, I think I will still choose Naija anyday, even with the pressures of work….
Other indications of progress;
1) The plumber is coming around Monday to plumb in the washing machine,
2) Our container is finally here and it’s a nice feeling being surrounded by your stuff
3) A call came in that the cooker knob was delivered just as I was sharpening my Samurai sword (killer of 1000 warriors) to go and spill blood at Park n' Shop.
I can smell progress in the air. October will make it 6 months since I have been here, funny how time flies….
13/09/08
Don’t get me wrong, it is still very challenging. I was in the office this Saturday morning by 9.50am. This was after leaving the office the night before at 9.30pm trying to get an MOU out the door. I finally got to leave the office at about 12.30pm on Saturday to head for home and go and see my kids who I hadn’t seen all week, what with leaving the house at 6am and returning at 9pm every day this week.
I think my madam is gradually settling in based on her new membership in two wifes clubs. VGC Wife’s Club by dint of us enrolling our six year old boy in Saturday morning football, a prerequisite for any self respecting VGC wife with young boys. The second is the even move exclusive VGC returnees club. The returnees club is based around an outpost of returnees (mostly from the UK) whose initial stop-off point is the leafy surroundings of VGC , allowing you to aclimatise before venturing forth into the madness that is the rest of Lagos.
It was early evening time, we were in the VGC club by the pool chatting with 4 other members of the returnees club, talking about how they wish they had come over 4 years ago, me lounging on a pool lounger, after a swim with the kids in the pool, reading my one week old FT Weekend and biting into some nice suya accompanied by my small stout while our new house help was running round after the kids, weeeeeellllll, I think I will still choose Naija anyday, even with the pressures of work….
Other indications of progress;
1) The plumber is coming around Monday to plumb in the washing machine,
2) Our container is finally here and it’s a nice feeling being surrounded by your stuff
3) A call came in that the cooker knob was delivered just as I was sharpening my Samurai sword (killer of 1000 warriors) to go and spill blood at Park n' Shop.
I can smell progress in the air. October will make it 6 months since I have been here, funny how time flies….
Monday, 8 September 2008
Dealings with my pipol (Vol 2 – An Update)
Monday 8TH September 2008
CONTAINER
Our container finally came on Saturday after the extortionate agent had taken an additional 330 pounds off me and wanted to take even more. We had a nice verbal exchange of words where I told him I was fed up paying for their incompetence and so on and so forth…
COOKER
Today is the day that the house of Park n’ Shop shall fall like a pack of cards, BANZAI/SHINTOOOO!!!
HOUSE
The flip side of the hassle of workmen is that they are unbelievably in-expensive compared to the UK. We got in our own carpenter who planed down the doors and they open nicely now, an electrician put in light bulbs in all the lights (fancy paying for an electrician in the UK to replace light bulbs) and we have a new house help who is helping Madam unpack. Not a bad result.
DSTV GUY
DSTV guy showed up at last but the DSTV did not work until Sunday when I was fiddling with it and realized that it was due to the new fangled set top box being on pause or slo mo or something…
we are getting there, step by step...
CONTAINER
Our container finally came on Saturday after the extortionate agent had taken an additional 330 pounds off me and wanted to take even more. We had a nice verbal exchange of words where I told him I was fed up paying for their incompetence and so on and so forth…
COOKER
Today is the day that the house of Park n’ Shop shall fall like a pack of cards, BANZAI/SHINTOOOO!!!
HOUSE
The flip side of the hassle of workmen is that they are unbelievably in-expensive compared to the UK. We got in our own carpenter who planed down the doors and they open nicely now, an electrician put in light bulbs in all the lights (fancy paying for an electrician in the UK to replace light bulbs) and we have a new house help who is helping Madam unpack. Not a bad result.
DSTV GUY
DSTV guy showed up at last but the DSTV did not work until Sunday when I was fiddling with it and realized that it was due to the new fangled set top box being on pause or slo mo or something…
we are getting there, step by step...
Wednesday, 3 September 2008
dealings with my people (or, my people dealing with me)
Wednesday 3RD September 2008
When you can deal with Naija workman and succeed, you can deal with the world and they will bow down and beg you for mercy (An old Confucian proverb)…
CONTAINER
A container came two months ago to take our family belongings. We shared the container with a friend to reduce the costs. We were quoted a door to door price of 3,680 pounds by Raymond at Gateway Express and went with them after discussions with a number of shippers. Two months later, we are yet to receive our container. Every day a new story. One day it is that the goods are undergoing a physical inspection and we have to pay more duty because of all the new items our friends put in the container (be warned), the next day it is that the container was mis-placed, the day after that it is that the container has been found but some people have to be settled, next it is that nothing is moving because of the rain.
Right now the current story is that the money we paid is not enough and we have to pay an additional two hundred and fifty pounds for our goods to show up or the man is walking away. Talk about being held to ransom. Maybe I should complain to Consumer Protection in the UK and get this useless agent’s operating licence taken away? You learn everyday…
COOKER
Before the family arrived, I bought some necessities for the house thinking that I shouldn’t buy too much as our container of family items was due to arrive shortly (how wrong I was). One of the things I did buy was a new cooker. Not cheap at six hundred pounds. The cooker was delivered along with a broken oven knob. Over the past three weeks, my driver has been returning to good old Park n’Shop almost on a daily basis to ask them to replace the knob. “Oga is not here”, “they were supposed to deliver it yesterday”, “let me call them”, “come back tomorrow”. As in the James Bond film, tomorrow never comes. Madam has gone to visit them, to no avail. Now I have left work to go and discuss with them about a cooker knob. We have agreed with the young earnest Asian man that no knob by tomorrow means I get to choose any new cooker in the store. I chose one and asked them to write down the name in case they go and remove all the cookers except the crappy ones. In this case, tomorrow is coming, let’s me go and halla like a Naija man whose fu-fu has just been taken from him…
HOUSE
We have a nice big house but the interior décor leaves a bit to be desired. The mosquito nets are slightly patched and are driving madam up the wall, (especially considering she has to stare at them all day), one or two door knobs have already come loose, and doors do not lock. Back in the good old days, the landlord/agent ran for the hills once he collected your money and was not seen again till rent was due. I thought I should check if things have changed and surprisingly, the agent so far has been responsible enough to accept responsibility for at least the initial quality of interior works before running for the hills. He has sent various carpenters, plumbers, net fixers and jack-of-all tradesmen round to look (but not fix) things. Fixing things is now the issue. He claims he has to be funded by the landlord who resides in far off Canada. Who knows how long it might take to move money from Canada to Nigeria –days, months, years?
DSTV GUY
Considering madam and the little ones are all going stir crazy in a big house with no tv, I thought it a good idea to splash out on a flatscreen and DSTV. Not cheap. Flat screen 562 pounds for a 32” Samsung and DSTV 396 pounds for the equivalent of Sky (this is intial set up and doesn’t include monthly subscription of 42 pounds. 1000 pounds all in. Just to watch some tv (what is the price of sanity?) Now coming to the issue at hand, my DSTV guy collected up-front costs of N85,000 (350 pounds) yesterday, he brought the dish, the decoder and other paraphernalia and deposited them in my car promising to be at our house first thing this morning for a prompt installation. It’s now 6.43pm; his phone has been switched off all day so I can’t reach him. Now do I;
a) Bawl him out for his clueless customer service
b) Ask him in sympathy whether he had a car accident and send him fruit considering he must have broken both arms so couldn’t call
c) Stab him in the back and pack him in a cupboard
d) Ignore his behavior as a true Nigerian who doesn’t expect anyone to turn up when they say and let him get on with his customer service-less installation
Answers on a postcard please…
When you can deal with Naija workman and succeed, you can deal with the world and they will bow down and beg you for mercy (An old Confucian proverb)…
CONTAINER
A container came two months ago to take our family belongings. We shared the container with a friend to reduce the costs. We were quoted a door to door price of 3,680 pounds by Raymond at Gateway Express and went with them after discussions with a number of shippers. Two months later, we are yet to receive our container. Every day a new story. One day it is that the goods are undergoing a physical inspection and we have to pay more duty because of all the new items our friends put in the container (be warned), the next day it is that the container was mis-placed, the day after that it is that the container has been found but some people have to be settled, next it is that nothing is moving because of the rain.
Right now the current story is that the money we paid is not enough and we have to pay an additional two hundred and fifty pounds for our goods to show up or the man is walking away. Talk about being held to ransom. Maybe I should complain to Consumer Protection in the UK and get this useless agent’s operating licence taken away? You learn everyday…
COOKER
Before the family arrived, I bought some necessities for the house thinking that I shouldn’t buy too much as our container of family items was due to arrive shortly (how wrong I was). One of the things I did buy was a new cooker. Not cheap at six hundred pounds. The cooker was delivered along with a broken oven knob. Over the past three weeks, my driver has been returning to good old Park n’Shop almost on a daily basis to ask them to replace the knob. “Oga is not here”, “they were supposed to deliver it yesterday”, “let me call them”, “come back tomorrow”. As in the James Bond film, tomorrow never comes. Madam has gone to visit them, to no avail. Now I have left work to go and discuss with them about a cooker knob. We have agreed with the young earnest Asian man that no knob by tomorrow means I get to choose any new cooker in the store. I chose one and asked them to write down the name in case they go and remove all the cookers except the crappy ones. In this case, tomorrow is coming, let’s me go and halla like a Naija man whose fu-fu has just been taken from him…
HOUSE
We have a nice big house but the interior décor leaves a bit to be desired. The mosquito nets are slightly patched and are driving madam up the wall, (especially considering she has to stare at them all day), one or two door knobs have already come loose, and doors do not lock. Back in the good old days, the landlord/agent ran for the hills once he collected your money and was not seen again till rent was due. I thought I should check if things have changed and surprisingly, the agent so far has been responsible enough to accept responsibility for at least the initial quality of interior works before running for the hills. He has sent various carpenters, plumbers, net fixers and jack-of-all tradesmen round to look (but not fix) things. Fixing things is now the issue. He claims he has to be funded by the landlord who resides in far off Canada. Who knows how long it might take to move money from Canada to Nigeria –days, months, years?
DSTV GUY
Considering madam and the little ones are all going stir crazy in a big house with no tv, I thought it a good idea to splash out on a flatscreen and DSTV. Not cheap. Flat screen 562 pounds for a 32” Samsung and DSTV 396 pounds for the equivalent of Sky (this is intial set up and doesn’t include monthly subscription of 42 pounds. 1000 pounds all in. Just to watch some tv (what is the price of sanity?) Now coming to the issue at hand, my DSTV guy collected up-front costs of N85,000 (350 pounds) yesterday, he brought the dish, the decoder and other paraphernalia and deposited them in my car promising to be at our house first thing this morning for a prompt installation. It’s now 6.43pm; his phone has been switched off all day so I can’t reach him. Now do I;
a) Bawl him out for his clueless customer service
b) Ask him in sympathy whether he had a car accident and send him fruit considering he must have broken both arms so couldn’t call
c) Stab him in the back and pack him in a cupboard
d) Ignore his behavior as a true Nigerian who doesn’t expect anyone to turn up when they say and let him get on with his customer service-less installation
Answers on a postcard please…
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