Wednesday, 18 June 2008

The little mosquito bedtime reading story

I have a mosquito net above my bed. A few holes but it keeps me and my pet mosquitoes separate at night. However, about once every two weeks when the moon is full, my pet mosquitoes gain a superhuman intelligence probably brought on by a Draculan sleeping super gene that enables them methodically search out one of the little holes (or some other means of entry that will probably only be captured by one of those night vision, slow speed cameras you see on the nature programmes “low voice: and here they come, in single file, the forward guard, communicating to the rank and file by the use of mosquitoish wing movements, very complex, highly intelligent” but I digress...

that enables them methodically search out one of the little holes in my net and gain access one after the other from whence they latch on to my prostrate sleeping body and have themselves a feast as they shiver in ecstasy on my body (nasty)
Fortunately for me, unfortunately for them, the super gene shuts off early morning and they being all fat and lazy on my blood just sit there inside the net digesting my blood slowly "hmmmm, this is some sweet blood, yeah he must have just arrived from somewhere else, I haven't tasted blood this sweet since my days in Nam". Anyway, I wake up after a poor night’s sleep and hey, there are about 6 fat mosquitoes inside my net with me. Now it is my turn. Again remember the shark feeding frenzy from the nature programmes. Please turn away if you are squeamish but by the time I have finished, there is fresh blood mixed with mashed up little mosquito bodies all over my hands, niiiiice Revenge can be sweet afterall

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Keep writing bro. We read you often, so don't give up! I'm in Lagos shortly btw.

Your coz in the USA.
P/S, I'm bringing the kids to Londres soon to keep yours company.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, you will get use to those mosquitoes soon, but they are so evil. I can see you’re enjoying Naija, keep the blogs coming.

Dami said...

aye!! David Attenborough wont be happy with you squashing those mosquitoes, i better set up a wwf for those poor things!