Please forgive me, I am not loosing my va-va-voom. Rather, I'm getting into the swing of things and not as dumb struck as I used to be (in only 4 weeks). It's probably a good thing as one doesn't want to remain a JJC (Johnny Just Come) forever.
That plus my 7-7, 9-11 work hours are gradually stripping my natural bon-homie, but hey I have to fight the powers (not quite the right context) and retain that air of childlikeness where I take pictures of chickens on the street as art while the locals look at me and calculate whether it is worth taking the camera off me or just charging me for taking pictures of their chickens.
But, I do have something newsworthy to report
I DROVE ON THE STREETS OF LAGOS TODAY!!!
Yes, I was given a gleaming new car to tool around Lagos in today. I took that baby out and put my foot down. Not only that, I jostled with Eko taxi drivers who had been in the business of stripping paint from new cars for the past 25 years and I came out with my paint job intact. It was a battle out there. We were taking no prisoners. No allowance. My heart was pumping but I got to Lekki saw the estate agent I came to see, and powered back to VI all the way through 1hr of traffic. (crawling, not powering).
I feel ever so slightly more independent now. But as my bank people are yet to approve my lump sum payment for the two years rent in advance, and hence not having a home to park in, I am forced to drive back to the bank premises, park the car and walk back to my office...
Friday, 30 May 2008
A bit of humour
Some comments I have come across over the past week
The guy fixing our window blinds after they kept falling off due to us opening the window
"They did not use their calculative reasoning"
He was referring to the people that built our building and didn't place the windows in the right way. He may also have been referring to us for opening our windows so that the wind would blow the blinds off
Clinton's Aide (so I'm told)
politicians are like diapers, they need to be changed on a regular basis.
I thought this was quite apt and would go as far as to add "or they become full of s**t"
He probably couldn't say that as he was probably on day-time tv
The guy fixing our window blinds after they kept falling off due to us opening the window
"They did not use their calculative reasoning"
He was referring to the people that built our building and didn't place the windows in the right way. He may also have been referring to us for opening our windows so that the wind would blow the blinds off
Clinton's Aide (so I'm told)
politicians are like diapers, they need to be changed on a regular basis.
I thought this was quite apt and would go as far as to add "or they become full of s**t"
He probably couldn't say that as he was probably on day-time tv
JP Morgan Nigerian banking report
Wednesday, 28 May 2008
Settling In...
I am sorry ooohhh!!!
I know I have an obligation to all my readers to keep you all updated on goings and comings on the ground as they happen. (By the way, I'm really learning to love Nigerian English where you treat English as if it is a ball of pounded yam to be yanked and moulded not by the hand but by the mouth). Anyway, sorry for not writing anything since Friday (imagine!).
I think what is happening is that I am settling in (shock horror)! In only three weeks and counting I am morphing slowly into a son of the shoil. I am starting to talk in a more rugged tone, stopping the use of please and thank you, pushing my way into the lift before ladies (no, only joking, I haven't yet totally morphed) and grunting at the driver to get a move on. Terrible. Where are my English manners?
Alongside this, my honeymoon period at work is shortly due to end. Not yet, but I can see it coming back from the future. We are a bank. We generate money. Generate money or else, your big Oyibo salary will be called into question!!! Under such pressures, writing blogs pales into less significance (not insignificance, of course not). One is having to prove oneself, learn about the job and learn all kinds of new ways of doing things all at the same time. Meaning that I'm in at 7.15am, out at 7.15pm, having lunch while at my desk reading more stuff and doing further reading from 9-11pm. I have to turn myself into a money making machine, pronto!
But, my consolation is that I'M LOVIN IT
I know I have an obligation to all my readers to keep you all updated on goings and comings on the ground as they happen. (By the way, I'm really learning to love Nigerian English where you treat English as if it is a ball of pounded yam to be yanked and moulded not by the hand but by the mouth). Anyway, sorry for not writing anything since Friday (imagine!).
I think what is happening is that I am settling in (shock horror)! In only three weeks and counting I am morphing slowly into a son of the shoil. I am starting to talk in a more rugged tone, stopping the use of please and thank you, pushing my way into the lift before ladies (no, only joking, I haven't yet totally morphed) and grunting at the driver to get a move on. Terrible. Where are my English manners?
Alongside this, my honeymoon period at work is shortly due to end. Not yet, but I can see it coming back from the future. We are a bank. We generate money. Generate money or else, your big Oyibo salary will be called into question!!! Under such pressures, writing blogs pales into less significance (not insignificance, of course not). One is having to prove oneself, learn about the job and learn all kinds of new ways of doing things all at the same time. Meaning that I'm in at 7.15am, out at 7.15pm, having lunch while at my desk reading more stuff and doing further reading from 9-11pm. I have to turn myself into a money making machine, pronto!
But, my consolation is that I'M LOVIN IT
Friday, 23 May 2008
I left my bank to go for a walk (imagine!)
Every now and then, especially after eating a heavy lunch, I like to take a walk. I've been doing this since I was working in the UK. I can't spend all day at a desk. Now I am in Lagos, a walk is a bit more like taking your life into your own hands. And then you have the sun which means you have to hop from shade to shade or you start to sweat profusely.
Today, I forgot to wear an inner vest, so by the time I got back to the office, there were patches of sweat on my shirt. Not very nice, but sweating is something we all do. My colleague was looking at me as if I had just fallen from the sky. "Where are you coming from she said"? "I went for a walk" I said. "To where"? Obviously, you can't just go for a walk, you must be coming from somewhere, or going somewhere. Walking aimlessly is just not done. A banker might get run over by the crazy motorcycle taxis or get his blackberry politely taken off him.
Even getting into the building with my sweat marks proved a problem. "Sorry, Oga, who are you looking for"? "I work here now". "Oga, sorry, I no realise sey na you" I was obviously looking like somebody who had just walked off the street. I'm sure I'll wake up one night screaming after a nightmare where I can no longer get into my bank because I am sweating profusely after a walk round the block "BUT IT'S ME!!!" I scream. "Let me in to my airconditioned bank, don't leave me here on the street in the real world of Nigeria. I wont be able to cope!" "Oga, stop screaming or we will bundle you, we no no you Oga, Oga bye bye (foolish man)"...
Today, I forgot to wear an inner vest, so by the time I got back to the office, there were patches of sweat on my shirt. Not very nice, but sweating is something we all do. My colleague was looking at me as if I had just fallen from the sky. "Where are you coming from she said"? "I went for a walk" I said. "To where"? Obviously, you can't just go for a walk, you must be coming from somewhere, or going somewhere. Walking aimlessly is just not done. A banker might get run over by the crazy motorcycle taxis or get his blackberry politely taken off him.
Even getting into the building with my sweat marks proved a problem. "Sorry, Oga, who are you looking for"? "I work here now". "Oga, sorry, I no realise sey na you" I was obviously looking like somebody who had just walked off the street. I'm sure I'll wake up one night screaming after a nightmare where I can no longer get into my bank because I am sweating profusely after a walk round the block "BUT IT'S ME!!!" I scream. "Let me in to my airconditioned bank, don't leave me here on the street in the real world of Nigeria. I wont be able to cope!" "Oga, stop screaming or we will bundle you, we no no you Oga, Oga bye bye (foolish man)"...
Thursday, 22 May 2008
The Lagos Real Estate Boom
My background most recently has been commercial real estate. So the stuff is close to my heart. I love it. It gives me goose pimples. Lagos is experiencing a real estate boom of Russian Oligarch sized proportions. I can put it no other way. I keep hearing similar outlandish sized stories of outlandish returns. I'm not sure I should reveal this or you'll all come with your £ and $ and add to this gold rush, but that's one of the reasons I started this blog so...
I recently heard the one about LNG Nigeria Staff Co-operative buying reclaimable land (water) behind Nicon Town in Lekki. I believe the price was N4m per plot (£16k, $32k). Those with the means bought more than one plot. Some months later, 9mths I believe after sand-filling the land, there is a requirement for an additional payment of N5m to pay for infrastructure. Some are now selling to reap profits. Sale price is N11m. 2.5x your initial investment in 9mths for mid level staff in a company.
I went to see a luxury flat while house hunting the other day. Lekki Phase 1, two yachts for the use of residents, plus an assorted plethora of motor bikes, water scooters, kids motorised cars etc also for the use of the residents. Water backing property with a beautiful view of the sea (or the lagoon). $70k per annum / £3,000 per mth, 3 years in advance. 5 already gone, only one left. I am sure the plot of land was not bought based on an appraisal of a $70k per annum rent. By the way, the guy/owner had a magnificent penthouse of two knocked through apartments at the top, with telescope for the view, lovely decor etc, boy, I could have been in Miami.
I went on a client visit to see a developer yesterday. Very very un-assuming guy, by the time he had rolled out their vision for me, the prices that commercial office space they were just finishing rennovating was going for, the prices that the serviced apartments on top were going for, his pipeline of deals and the opportunities in the market place (he also mentioned that construction costs were now at 3 times what is paid in Dubai due to the boom) my head was reeling. His very words in relation to this particular development, "cash cow".
I have come across at least 3 $300m+ deals in the 3weeks I have been here. Some we are involved in, some others are involved in. The hotel business is booming. If you haven't been to Lagos and you come back in a years time, you won't believe your eyes at the new high-end developments that would have emerged out of nowhere.
Trust me, it's all going down (not in a bust sense but in a boom sense).
I recently heard the one about LNG Nigeria Staff Co-operative buying reclaimable land (water) behind Nicon Town in Lekki. I believe the price was N4m per plot (£16k, $32k). Those with the means bought more than one plot. Some months later, 9mths I believe after sand-filling the land, there is a requirement for an additional payment of N5m to pay for infrastructure. Some are now selling to reap profits. Sale price is N11m. 2.5x your initial investment in 9mths for mid level staff in a company.
I went to see a luxury flat while house hunting the other day. Lekki Phase 1, two yachts for the use of residents, plus an assorted plethora of motor bikes, water scooters, kids motorised cars etc also for the use of the residents. Water backing property with a beautiful view of the sea (or the lagoon). $70k per annum / £3,000 per mth, 3 years in advance. 5 already gone, only one left. I am sure the plot of land was not bought based on an appraisal of a $70k per annum rent. By the way, the guy/owner had a magnificent penthouse of two knocked through apartments at the top, with telescope for the view, lovely decor etc, boy, I could have been in Miami.
I went on a client visit to see a developer yesterday. Very very un-assuming guy, by the time he had rolled out their vision for me, the prices that commercial office space they were just finishing rennovating was going for, the prices that the serviced apartments on top were going for, his pipeline of deals and the opportunities in the market place (he also mentioned that construction costs were now at 3 times what is paid in Dubai due to the boom) my head was reeling. His very words in relation to this particular development, "cash cow".
I have come across at least 3 $300m+ deals in the 3weeks I have been here. Some we are involved in, some others are involved in. The hotel business is booming. If you haven't been to Lagos and you come back in a years time, you won't believe your eyes at the new high-end developments that would have emerged out of nowhere.
Trust me, it's all going down (not in a bust sense but in a boom sense).
10 Reasons Why I love Nigeria
Thanks for the comments guys, keep them coming, keep them coming...
10 Reasons Why I love Nigeria
Before I go into the topic at hand, please a minutes silence for all Chelsea supporters. I feel your pain. As for Man U., you, played with flair, congratulations.
Nigeria loves evangelical pastors, who love to create plans that will make your live better. 10 ways to do this, 30 ways to do that. In the same vein, as follows I now present to you Munachi Okoye’s 10 Reasons why he loves Nigeria
I love Nigeria because...
1. This is my country. I can do anything in it (within reason). The sky and not a glass ceiling, is my limit. I look around me, I see people doing things you only dream of doing in another man’s land. My good friend has coined a phrase for it, “Self Actualisation”.
2. I am an Oga in my land (see my earlier blog about aspirations of being a new breed BIG MAN). They open doors for me, they drive me around, pick me up for work, drop me home at the end of the day, they bring me tea in the morning and they take away my plates after a hearty meal at night. I tip them for these minor comforts (UK sized tips) so everyone is happy.
3. There is a can-do spirit sweeping across the land. Everyday, I meet entrepreneurs, people who are out there on a mission to make things happen. People already making things happen. People with vision. It is infectious, it makes you feel that you can also make things happen, which of course you can.
4. As much as the power supply is intermittent and the water supply sometimes coughs and splutters, all this can be dealt with as long as one has the means.
5. Labour costs are low. We went to a hair salon and six members of staff were braiding one ladies hair. The guy I am staying with has a personal trainer that comes in the morning to give him a boxing workout. As I had pointed out in an earlier blog, my colleague and her partner got a spa, massage, facials, manicure and pedicure for all of 4hrs for the princely sum of the equivalent of £50 / $100. You can employ a live in child carer for each of your children and not feel it, you can have a driver, cook and gardener and not feel it. Just make sure you have a big boy's quarters.
6. Ahhheeemmmm...
Now I see why some pastors get paid so much. It is not easy to come up with 10 catchy phrases on this subject.
Don’t get me wrong. I also love the UK. I have spent half of my life there. I am not here to knock the place. I love the sense of freedom there. Freedom of expression, freedom to come and go, the sense of security and the civilized nature of the place. But right now, while I am still young and not ready to retire to a life of civility and afternoon teas, Nigeria is the place for me to make it big at twice the speed of sound. Nigeria is the wild wild west, but I am the Sundance Kid, so it’s ok.
10 Reasons Why I love Nigeria
Before I go into the topic at hand, please a minutes silence for all Chelsea supporters. I feel your pain. As for Man U., you, played with flair, congratulations.
Nigeria loves evangelical pastors, who love to create plans that will make your live better. 10 ways to do this, 30 ways to do that. In the same vein, as follows I now present to you Munachi Okoye’s 10 Reasons why he loves Nigeria
I love Nigeria because...
1. This is my country. I can do anything in it (within reason). The sky and not a glass ceiling, is my limit. I look around me, I see people doing things you only dream of doing in another man’s land. My good friend has coined a phrase for it, “Self Actualisation”.
2. I am an Oga in my land (see my earlier blog about aspirations of being a new breed BIG MAN). They open doors for me, they drive me around, pick me up for work, drop me home at the end of the day, they bring me tea in the morning and they take away my plates after a hearty meal at night. I tip them for these minor comforts (UK sized tips) so everyone is happy.
3. There is a can-do spirit sweeping across the land. Everyday, I meet entrepreneurs, people who are out there on a mission to make things happen. People already making things happen. People with vision. It is infectious, it makes you feel that you can also make things happen, which of course you can.
4. As much as the power supply is intermittent and the water supply sometimes coughs and splutters, all this can be dealt with as long as one has the means.
5. Labour costs are low. We went to a hair salon and six members of staff were braiding one ladies hair. The guy I am staying with has a personal trainer that comes in the morning to give him a boxing workout. As I had pointed out in an earlier blog, my colleague and her partner got a spa, massage, facials, manicure and pedicure for all of 4hrs for the princely sum of the equivalent of £50 / $100. You can employ a live in child carer for each of your children and not feel it, you can have a driver, cook and gardener and not feel it. Just make sure you have a big boy's quarters.
6. Ahhheeemmmm...
Now I see why some pastors get paid so much. It is not easy to come up with 10 catchy phrases on this subject.
Don’t get me wrong. I also love the UK. I have spent half of my life there. I am not here to knock the place. I love the sense of freedom there. Freedom of expression, freedom to come and go, the sense of security and the civilized nature of the place. But right now, while I am still young and not ready to retire to a life of civility and afternoon teas, Nigeria is the place for me to make it big at twice the speed of sound. Nigeria is the wild wild west, but I am the Sundance Kid, so it’s ok.
Wednesday, 21 May 2008
I wish I could only say nice things about Nigeria, but...
Traffic & Power Unlimited
That is the name of my new consultancy. I am here to solve all the traffic and power troubles in the Nation. If I can do this, then my name will be remembered forever in this country.
Traffic
The traffic issue is not as serious, not on my home – work route anyway, Lekki – VI. On a Sunday morning, Lekki – VI is probably 15 minutes. On a working day, Wake up 6am, in the car by 6.45am, in the office by 7.10am, 25 minutes door to door. Not bad at all. After work, leave the office at 7.15pm, back in the house by 8pm. 45 minutes door to door. Not too bad at all. As I said, traffic on my route is not bad. Now, Ikeja – VI is another issue. I don’t run this route but I believe it is about 1 1/2hrs or 2hrs on a bad day. The Lekki Road widening scheme is moving forward and immediate traffic has eased somewhat in my area. Unfortunately, I am reliably informed that if you live beyond the second Lekki roundabout further away from the CBD of VI in estates that include VGC and Northern Foreshore going back home at the end of the day can take anything up to 2hrs and leaving in the morning is either a pre 6am job or a 2hr commute.
Power
Legal Disclaimer: If you are still undecided about coming home, please turn away right now and go and make a sandwich, we’ll call you back when we are done.
I have been in Nigeria 2 weeks +. In these two weeks and counting, power supply has been a failure of magnanimous proportions. I am sorry to say this but power supply has been terrible. I leave the house at 6.45am, no light, I come home at 8pm no light. Generator in the morning, generator at night and nothing in between. The lack of power has knocked the water supply as we are now told that there is no power to power the pumps to pump up the water. Maybe they are just trying to copy NEPA.
Our dear President, if there is only one thing you are remembered for after completing your term/s please let it be that you are remembered as the President that brought un-interrupted power supply to this Nation.
That is the name of my new consultancy. I am here to solve all the traffic and power troubles in the Nation. If I can do this, then my name will be remembered forever in this country.
Traffic
The traffic issue is not as serious, not on my home – work route anyway, Lekki – VI. On a Sunday morning, Lekki – VI is probably 15 minutes. On a working day, Wake up 6am, in the car by 6.45am, in the office by 7.10am, 25 minutes door to door. Not bad at all. After work, leave the office at 7.15pm, back in the house by 8pm. 45 minutes door to door. Not too bad at all. As I said, traffic on my route is not bad. Now, Ikeja – VI is another issue. I don’t run this route but I believe it is about 1 1/2hrs or 2hrs on a bad day. The Lekki Road widening scheme is moving forward and immediate traffic has eased somewhat in my area. Unfortunately, I am reliably informed that if you live beyond the second Lekki roundabout further away from the CBD of VI in estates that include VGC and Northern Foreshore going back home at the end of the day can take anything up to 2hrs and leaving in the morning is either a pre 6am job or a 2hr commute.
Power
Legal Disclaimer: If you are still undecided about coming home, please turn away right now and go and make a sandwich, we’ll call you back when we are done.
I have been in Nigeria 2 weeks +. In these two weeks and counting, power supply has been a failure of magnanimous proportions. I am sorry to say this but power supply has been terrible. I leave the house at 6.45am, no light, I come home at 8pm no light. Generator in the morning, generator at night and nothing in between. The lack of power has knocked the water supply as we are now told that there is no power to power the pumps to pump up the water. Maybe they are just trying to copy NEPA.
Our dear President, if there is only one thing you are remembered for after completing your term/s please let it be that you are remembered as the President that brought un-interrupted power supply to this Nation.
Rushed off my feet
Things are moving at a ferocious pace, my workload has blossomed like an Ebola virus on speed, I have stacks of files to read and the only way I'll get to read them is by reading them when I get back home at 8pm, I go out at lunchtimes to look at property I can live in, my car is coming any day now and I have nowhere to park it, but...God is in control.
I have a plan which involves writing stuff and putting on here so the timelines may be out but it's still all interesting stuff, so here's one I wrote earlier...enjoy
Abeg, make I jist you about the 50th I went to over the weekend
Saturday, and I had two social events lined up for the evening. A bbq for my cousin’s wife in the afternoon and a 50th birthday celebration scheduled for the evening.
The BBQ was nice and laid back, bbq chicken, light food, drinks and chat, nothing too heavy to get in the way of my expected feasting later in the evening. I came with a friend and by the time we left, it was already 7pm. The evening event had a start time of 6pm, but hey, this is Nigeria and I didn’t expect things to kick off till at least 9.
Rushed back to the house to change from light bbq wear to heavy 50th party wear. Fine shirt, fine suit, fine shoes. I was ready for this 50th in Lekki with the thought that anyone who was having a party after 50yrs on this earth must have amassed enough wealth to drown us in food, drink and good time. My friend hadn’t planned on taking me to the second event but as my escorts had abandoned me for not reporting on time and I needed to be at this 50th, I begged and pleaded and coerced him to drop me off at the event. We negotiated past the guards at the gated estate and I blagged my way past the guest list which I was surprisingly not on, considering it was the brother of the host who invited me. Anyway once we got into the estate, you could hear the music blaring from down the road (if you were a neighbour, you either join in the party or go off for the weekend). Anyway, my friend was in a hurry to get home before it got too late so he dropped me off and I strode in...
Goodness...
I was over-dressed in just a suit and a shirt. I had been expecting ball gowns and fine traditional wear but everyone was in scruffy looking t-shirts and the like, looking like they were passing through on the way to see the new plot of land they had just bought for N100m. People were sweating profusely as they danced to Yauuuuu and other such highlife songs. I couldn’t believe how different it was to what I had expected. I got in the house and asked for some brandy and was passed an un-opened case of Remy Martin VSOP Red Label to go and sort out, then I asked for some food to line my stomach and was directed round the corner of the house where the lady with her food coolers (no fancy trays, but food coolers) told me that there was only Ukwa (a very local food) left. Well I had to line my stomach as you recall I had not eaten much all day in expectation of this event so there I was with my ukwa washed down with expensive brandy surrounded by profusely sweating dancers and tables full of MUMM and Moet&Chandon Champagne and Remy Martin bottles littered everywhere as if they were bottles of beer. Veerrryyy interesting. A good night none the less...
I have a plan which involves writing stuff and putting on here so the timelines may be out but it's still all interesting stuff, so here's one I wrote earlier...enjoy
Abeg, make I jist you about the 50th I went to over the weekend
Saturday, and I had two social events lined up for the evening. A bbq for my cousin’s wife in the afternoon and a 50th birthday celebration scheduled for the evening.
The BBQ was nice and laid back, bbq chicken, light food, drinks and chat, nothing too heavy to get in the way of my expected feasting later in the evening. I came with a friend and by the time we left, it was already 7pm. The evening event had a start time of 6pm, but hey, this is Nigeria and I didn’t expect things to kick off till at least 9.
Rushed back to the house to change from light bbq wear to heavy 50th party wear. Fine shirt, fine suit, fine shoes. I was ready for this 50th in Lekki with the thought that anyone who was having a party after 50yrs on this earth must have amassed enough wealth to drown us in food, drink and good time. My friend hadn’t planned on taking me to the second event but as my escorts had abandoned me for not reporting on time and I needed to be at this 50th, I begged and pleaded and coerced him to drop me off at the event. We negotiated past the guards at the gated estate and I blagged my way past the guest list which I was surprisingly not on, considering it was the brother of the host who invited me. Anyway once we got into the estate, you could hear the music blaring from down the road (if you were a neighbour, you either join in the party or go off for the weekend). Anyway, my friend was in a hurry to get home before it got too late so he dropped me off and I strode in...
Goodness...
I was over-dressed in just a suit and a shirt. I had been expecting ball gowns and fine traditional wear but everyone was in scruffy looking t-shirts and the like, looking like they were passing through on the way to see the new plot of land they had just bought for N100m. People were sweating profusely as they danced to Yauuuuu and other such highlife songs. I couldn’t believe how different it was to what I had expected. I got in the house and asked for some brandy and was passed an un-opened case of Remy Martin VSOP Red Label to go and sort out, then I asked for some food to line my stomach and was directed round the corner of the house where the lady with her food coolers (no fancy trays, but food coolers) told me that there was only Ukwa (a very local food) left. Well I had to line my stomach as you recall I had not eaten much all day in expectation of this event so there I was with my ukwa washed down with expensive brandy surrounded by profusely sweating dancers and tables full of MUMM and Moet&Chandon Champagne and Remy Martin bottles littered everywhere as if they were bottles of beer. Veerrryyy interesting. A good night none the less...
Monday, 19 May 2008
Anatomy of a BIG MAN
Images are of The Palms Shopping Centre, Lekki
Thanks very much for the comments guys and keep them coming, lets get a nice big user group going. Also, for every comment, the commentator gets a new Range Rover Sport courtesy of Range Rover (or is it TATA Motors of India, I'm not sure). Your car is on the high seas, please be patient...
Thank you very much for your comment on big men in Naija. It's an interesting comparism, but unfortunately not true. Just for you my reader, and any other non-Nigerian reader (any Naija person that asks such a question should be ashamed of demsef) here is the definition of a Nigerian Big Man (read, accompanied by Fela music)
A Nigerian BIG MAN, is one who due to his prowess in collecting money by all and any means (political,, importing & exporting, unknown business (ahem), 419, real estate, oil and gas, construction or otherwise) has gained not just the financial muscle but also the political clout and the ability to weld it like a club to steamroll over any other common man who is not equally as big. Common men also include the police, customs, his tenants, pedestrians who dare to enter the path of his big car or any other such commoners. The big man title actually came about from the girth of the man's kneck and his belly brought about by consuming copious amounts of beer, meat and other rich foods as he started to realise he could buy whatever he chose.
An addendum to the above, is that as Nigeria is now an emerging economy (goodness knows what it was before this phase), we now have the new emerging phase of Big Manism. We (as I am aspiring to belong to this group) are the new breed of big man. Working in the nouveau legitimate businesses of Oil and Gaz and banking or entrepreneurship or having made our money from the booming stock market or the emerging real estate bubble we drive Range Rover Sports, ML 65 AMG's and other similar hot vehicles (you can see why I aspire to this group). We now go the gym regularly so have trim figures as opposed to the bloated figures of old, and we take leisurely strolls in The Palms Shopping Centre holding the hands of our wifes (not various concubines like the BIG MEN of old, (this bit I'll have to go back and confirm, please bear with me).
So henceforth, if anyone asks you what a big man is, you will be able to answer with clarity and forthrightness - Amen.
Thank you very much for your comment on big men in Naija. It's an interesting comparism, but unfortunately not true. Just for you my reader, and any other non-Nigerian reader (any Naija person that asks such a question should be ashamed of demsef) here is the definition of a Nigerian Big Man (read, accompanied by Fela music)
A Nigerian BIG MAN, is one who due to his prowess in collecting money by all and any means (political,, importing & exporting, unknown business (ahem), 419, real estate, oil and gas, construction or otherwise) has gained not just the financial muscle but also the political clout and the ability to weld it like a club to steamroll over any other common man who is not equally as big. Common men also include the police, customs, his tenants, pedestrians who dare to enter the path of his big car or any other such commoners. The big man title actually came about from the girth of the man's kneck and his belly brought about by consuming copious amounts of beer, meat and other rich foods as he started to realise he could buy whatever he chose.
An addendum to the above, is that as Nigeria is now an emerging economy (goodness knows what it was before this phase), we now have the new emerging phase of Big Manism. We (as I am aspiring to belong to this group) are the new breed of big man. Working in the nouveau legitimate businesses of Oil and Gaz and banking or entrepreneurship or having made our money from the booming stock market or the emerging real estate bubble we drive Range Rover Sports, ML 65 AMG's and other similar hot vehicles (you can see why I aspire to this group). We now go the gym regularly so have trim figures as opposed to the bloated figures of old, and we take leisurely strolls in The Palms Shopping Centre holding the hands of our wifes (not various concubines like the BIG MEN of old, (this bit I'll have to go back and confirm, please bear with me).
So henceforth, if anyone asks you what a big man is, you will be able to answer with clarity and forthrightness - Amen.
Friday, 16 May 2008
My new ATM Card! and maybe I've found a house!
Fantastic, I just received my new ATM card, delivered to my desk. I've gone downstairs to the ATM machine and changed the pin to the same number I have in the UK. I now have an international roaming pin and don't have to carry about wads of cash. I feel very chuffed (pleased for non UK residents) ATM's are relatively new by the way. Before that, it was wads of cash all the way!.
I feel even more chuffed because before I left the UK, I was hearing stories about how the demand for rental properties in Lagos had caused rents to go through the roof and how some people were waiting for a year for a place. I saw a place earlier in the week which I didn't like and was told that If I didn't take it, I would see how long it would take for me to find somewhere else.
I went out at lunchtime, with an agent and was shown two places within my budget (perhaps my budget is just so high so less demand). One of the places I really like. So am really chuffed (pleased) about finding somewhere. Left is the small matter of persuading my bank to forward me two years worth of rent in one big lump to pay for the thing.
I feel even more chuffed because before I left the UK, I was hearing stories about how the demand for rental properties in Lagos had caused rents to go through the roof and how some people were waiting for a year for a place. I saw a place earlier in the week which I didn't like and was told that If I didn't take it, I would see how long it would take for me to find somewhere else.
I went out at lunchtime, with an agent and was shown two places within my budget (perhaps my budget is just so high so less demand). One of the places I really like. So am really chuffed (pleased) about finding somewhere. Left is the small matter of persuading my bank to forward me two years worth of rent in one big lump to pay for the thing.
A Nigerian (working) day in the life of...
I’m tired.
I’ve been doing these 7am-7pm work hrs all week, along with trying to juggle finding a new house, finding new kid’s school and settling into my new job all at once. But, the weekend is coming up so I will be able to rest. I have a 50th birthday party and a 20something bbq both tomorrow so I am looking forward to some eating and drinking.
I have spent 10 working days in Nigeria today. Not bad. I am still alive. It already feels like I have been here a couple of interesting months. I must be starting to settle in by now.
Work Yesterday
A letter came into our office yesterday from one of the companies we had invested in, sent by their debt financers to state that as the company had not honoured its interest payments, they were going to foreclose on the company unless the company paid up all the principal and outstanding interest (similar to the kind of letter you get if you don't keep up with your council tax (UK property tax) but a bit more money involved. With the letter, attached the company in question had asked that an emergency board meeting be called to discuss what to do next. How exciting for me, this now fell under my remit and I was chosen to go and represent our bank at this fun meeting.
Said company is an oooold school company in the heart of the real Lagos (we are talking Apapa Ajegunle Alaba/Orile for those in the know). So I carried myself with driver to the middle of old Alaba/Orile to go and sit down with mature people that I had to show some respect to while explaining to them that their financial management wasn’t up to scratch and no, we (the bank) are not an open purse to dip a hand in for more money whenever the last money finishes and that some financial discipline was required for us to ensure that this project doesn’t go belly up (obviously my bonus was swinging on this).
I think they got the message, and after further discussions about the additional truck loads of money they needed before starting to generate huge profits from day 1 we all became firm friends and left smiling (after I had thrown in of course that our equity stake would of course rise to take into account the truckloads of cash they were asking for – no free lunch as they say).
Have a great weekend everybody. My new tradition is not to blog over the wkend, (I can't help it, no access to the internet in my house), but I will seek to take some nice pictures of whatever I can lay my camera lense on.
I’ve been doing these 7am-7pm work hrs all week, along with trying to juggle finding a new house, finding new kid’s school and settling into my new job all at once. But, the weekend is coming up so I will be able to rest. I have a 50th birthday party and a 20something bbq both tomorrow so I am looking forward to some eating and drinking.
I have spent 10 working days in Nigeria today. Not bad. I am still alive. It already feels like I have been here a couple of interesting months. I must be starting to settle in by now.
Work Yesterday
A letter came into our office yesterday from one of the companies we had invested in, sent by their debt financers to state that as the company had not honoured its interest payments, they were going to foreclose on the company unless the company paid up all the principal and outstanding interest (similar to the kind of letter you get if you don't keep up with your council tax (UK property tax) but a bit more money involved. With the letter, attached the company in question had asked that an emergency board meeting be called to discuss what to do next. How exciting for me, this now fell under my remit and I was chosen to go and represent our bank at this fun meeting.
Said company is an oooold school company in the heart of the real Lagos (we are talking Apapa Ajegunle Alaba/Orile for those in the know). So I carried myself with driver to the middle of old Alaba/Orile to go and sit down with mature people that I had to show some respect to while explaining to them that their financial management wasn’t up to scratch and no, we (the bank) are not an open purse to dip a hand in for more money whenever the last money finishes and that some financial discipline was required for us to ensure that this project doesn’t go belly up (obviously my bonus was swinging on this).
I think they got the message, and after further discussions about the additional truck loads of money they needed before starting to generate huge profits from day 1 we all became firm friends and left smiling (after I had thrown in of course that our equity stake would of course rise to take into account the truckloads of cash they were asking for – no free lunch as they say).
Have a great weekend everybody. My new tradition is not to blog over the wkend, (I can't help it, no access to the internet in my house), but I will seek to take some nice pictures of whatever I can lay my camera lense on.
Thursday, 15 May 2008
Good Times before business
For those who tuned into this blog for its economic and investment focused analysis, please bear with me as there are a few more matters to settle about the good times to be had in Nigeria/Lagos/Island/Lekki (God please let me get a place on the Island and not on the mainland) - please forgive me if you live on the mainland, what can I say?
More good times as follows
1. I was asking my colleague about which beaches are good. Suprised? People tend to forget that Lagos has a beachy shoreline. Lekki Beach, Alako Beach, Bar Beach of old and other beaches you can drive to far out of Lagos, where they are less agressive and will not steal your possessions if you dare turn your back and where you can have a nice relaxing time. Lekki itself is about 10minutes from a beach as the vulture flies.
2. I was supposed to go and see Iron Man last Sunday. Surprised? Nu Metro showing was 5.30pm and 8pm, I didn't have a showing time for Silverbird and as it was past 5.30pm I had to pass as I had work the next day and had to go home to iron my shirts before they took light (only joking)
3. Quite a number of restaurants to choose from including that Brazilian one where they serve you meat untill you keel over
4. My colleague (who as you can gather by now updates me on how to live well) told me that she and her fiance spent 4 hrs in a very nice spa getting a manicure, pedicure, facial, massage and steam (I don't know who got what) all for N12,000, the equivalent of £45.
There you go, the wonder that is Lagos (oops, sorry the Island)
More good times as follows
1. I was asking my colleague about which beaches are good. Suprised? People tend to forget that Lagos has a beachy shoreline. Lekki Beach, Alako Beach, Bar Beach of old and other beaches you can drive to far out of Lagos, where they are less agressive and will not steal your possessions if you dare turn your back and where you can have a nice relaxing time. Lekki itself is about 10minutes from a beach as the vulture flies.
2. I was supposed to go and see Iron Man last Sunday. Surprised? Nu Metro showing was 5.30pm and 8pm, I didn't have a showing time for Silverbird and as it was past 5.30pm I had to pass as I had work the next day and had to go home to iron my shirts before they took light (only joking)
3. Quite a number of restaurants to choose from including that Brazilian one where they serve you meat untill you keel over
4. My colleague (who as you can gather by now updates me on how to live well) told me that she and her fiance spent 4 hrs in a very nice spa getting a manicure, pedicure, facial, massage and steam (I don't know who got what) all for N12,000, the equivalent of £45.
There you go, the wonder that is Lagos (oops, sorry the Island)
I retract my earlier statement (under duress)
Na wa oh! Kata kata don burst!!!
My nearest and dearest was put off by my rant about NEPA (see earlier posting). I have been warned that if I want to see her step even one toe in my beloved Naija, I better go and find betta betta news to report (talk about artistic freedom, this is blackmail of the highest order).
I had a discussion with my work colleagues across from me in my bank, and it turns out that my situation was of a particular nature, as the owner of the house I was staying in was away in the US, the generator was running at the level of the... (how do I put this), the level of the average man, or average driver, or house help. In other words, the helps in the house were given strict instructions to turn the gen. off at a certain time, hence me stewing at night (ah ah, didn't they know I was coming?).
Soooooo...
my banking colleagues have re-assured me that...
1. they regularly run their gens all night if need be
2. they have big 250kv running gens and small night time running gens to run fans and fridges
3. they have fans that you pour in water that gets cold and generates a cool breeezzze at night
4. that there are new solar panels that automatically switch over when the mains power goes off
and so on
Obviously, my thinking was still stuck in the days of my youth when we had no other choices other than to grin and bare it. I apologise for this confusion. Apparently, I am now one of those ogas that suffocates the poor people with my very own diesel fumes. I am reliably informed that I have the means, (didn't I know?) and when you have the means in this country you are able to solve all the problems of the common man and more. Apparently, I am no longer a common man.
My nearest and dearest was put off by my rant about NEPA (see earlier posting). I have been warned that if I want to see her step even one toe in my beloved Naija, I better go and find betta betta news to report (talk about artistic freedom, this is blackmail of the highest order).
I had a discussion with my work colleagues across from me in my bank, and it turns out that my situation was of a particular nature, as the owner of the house I was staying in was away in the US, the generator was running at the level of the... (how do I put this), the level of the average man, or average driver, or house help. In other words, the helps in the house were given strict instructions to turn the gen. off at a certain time, hence me stewing at night (ah ah, didn't they know I was coming?).
Soooooo...
my banking colleagues have re-assured me that...
1. they regularly run their gens all night if need be
2. they have big 250kv running gens and small night time running gens to run fans and fridges
3. they have fans that you pour in water that gets cold and generates a cool breeezzze at night
4. that there are new solar panels that automatically switch over when the mains power goes off
and so on
Obviously, my thinking was still stuck in the days of my youth when we had no other choices other than to grin and bare it. I apologise for this confusion. Apparently, I am now one of those ogas that suffocates the poor people with my very own diesel fumes. I am reliably informed that I have the means, (didn't I know?) and when you have the means in this country you are able to solve all the problems of the common man and more. Apparently, I am no longer a common man.
Wednesday, 14 May 2008
No NEPA!
At the forefront of everyones minds when you ask them about coming home to Nigeria is the power problem. No NEPA. Hot sweltering nights with no tv, mosquitos flying around lazily in the heat and taking their time to enjoy your blood (when there is power the aircon freezes them to death), generators beating in the background and giving you head ache while you have half waking half asleep lurid dreams caused by suffocation by diesel fumes.
I would like to tell you some amazing piece of news about how the new Independent Power Plants are generating more power than we have ever had in our lives. I would like to tell you that the days of our youth, candles, lamps etc are all gone. I would like to tell you that in all those years, we have solved our problem. I would even like to tell you that our $60B oil reserve was used in its entirety to solve the problem with only 50kobo change (what happened to the kobo by the way?)
NO!!!!!!
For the past week, no light, from night till morning and back again, days on end and weekends included with a few hours of weak current. Off and on and off again. Electrical equipment destroying light. Light so weak, you feel that you are having harmattan in your house and can hardly see. Light that is no better than no light. And even worse, light so weak that there is no point cooking soup as it will spoil the following day!!! That unfortunately is how it has been for the past week. I would have liked to say otherwise but that would have been lying to you my reader. My only relief is that I am at work every day so just experience it in the evenings/nights. You may wonder, ah ah he is a banker now, can't he afford diesel, but how much diesel can you put into a generator to run it all day and all night 24/7. Am I sitting on an oil well??? or is gas flaring going on in my back yard to power my gas powered generator?
I do hear that some of our big men get drums of diesel as part of their perks. Maybe that is why the thing doesn't work. Big men paid off by big drums of diesel to run their huge generators all day and all night and kill the rest of us with diesel fumes.
You start to appreciate small blessings like a cold bucket bath after a hot night, just like when I was a boy preparing for school.
I would like to tell you some amazing piece of news about how the new Independent Power Plants are generating more power than we have ever had in our lives. I would like to tell you that the days of our youth, candles, lamps etc are all gone. I would like to tell you that in all those years, we have solved our problem. I would even like to tell you that our $60B oil reserve was used in its entirety to solve the problem with only 50kobo change (what happened to the kobo by the way?)
NO!!!!!!
For the past week, no light, from night till morning and back again, days on end and weekends included with a few hours of weak current. Off and on and off again. Electrical equipment destroying light. Light so weak, you feel that you are having harmattan in your house and can hardly see. Light that is no better than no light. And even worse, light so weak that there is no point cooking soup as it will spoil the following day!!! That unfortunately is how it has been for the past week. I would have liked to say otherwise but that would have been lying to you my reader. My only relief is that I am at work every day so just experience it in the evenings/nights. You may wonder, ah ah he is a banker now, can't he afford diesel, but how much diesel can you put into a generator to run it all day and all night 24/7. Am I sitting on an oil well??? or is gas flaring going on in my back yard to power my gas powered generator?
I do hear that some of our big men get drums of diesel as part of their perks. Maybe that is why the thing doesn't work. Big men paid off by big drums of diesel to run their huge generators all day and all night and kill the rest of us with diesel fumes.
You start to appreciate small blessings like a cold bucket bath after a hot night, just like when I was a boy preparing for school.
Tuesday, 13 May 2008
Pictures
Picture to the left is before a rainstorm in Lekki (a little artistic expression never hurt anyone)
Picture below is of MeadowHall School in Lekki
Schools...
Things have been a bit hectic. The workload is starting to build up, I'm getting into the swing of finding a place to live and the hunt for "The'' Right School is now officially on. There is a new Corona School opening in Lekki this September. Those of you in the know will know that Corona is a school with history where a lot of illustrious movers and shakers started their young lives. From what I heard, as soon as the registration forms were released, mothers of Lekki were sending their drivers in their 4x4's to go and queue from 4am at the Ikoyi head office to collect a form for their darling young ones.
That scrum must have died down as when we showed up this morning at 7.45am it was nice and quiet and I was able to pick up a couple of forms for my own darling young ones. There was a single posh speaking mum who quickly pointed out that as her kids were in another branch of Corona, she should be given special dispensation in getting into the new Corona. Not to be out-done, I started asking questions about what they could do for darling young ones still enschoned in the UK but soon to return all fresh faced with Britiko accents. That mellowed her and her posh tones out a bit and she started to smile as in ''ok, he is one of us''.
Also went to Meadow Hall which could do with some trees as I don't want the Nigerian sun blasting the heads of my young ones fresh out of the UK where they put sun block on their pretty faces against the weak England sun. Nigerian sun is like a Tsunami compared to a swimming pool wave of the English sun. We tried to get to Green Springs but turned back when we had been driving for 30 minutes with no school in site. I was told that it was a nice school so we'll go back this lunchtime. Will also go to see Imperial Gate and Pine Fields in Lekki today. I want to pack all this in before work builds up as I'm told 5am finishes are not unheard of. I'll post some pictures a bit later in the day...
That scrum must have died down as when we showed up this morning at 7.45am it was nice and quiet and I was able to pick up a couple of forms for my own darling young ones. There was a single posh speaking mum who quickly pointed out that as her kids were in another branch of Corona, she should be given special dispensation in getting into the new Corona. Not to be out-done, I started asking questions about what they could do for darling young ones still enschoned in the UK but soon to return all fresh faced with Britiko accents. That mellowed her and her posh tones out a bit and she started to smile as in ''ok, he is one of us''.
Also went to Meadow Hall which could do with some trees as I don't want the Nigerian sun blasting the heads of my young ones fresh out of the UK where they put sun block on their pretty faces against the weak England sun. Nigerian sun is like a Tsunami compared to a swimming pool wave of the English sun. We tried to get to Green Springs but turned back when we had been driving for 30 minutes with no school in site. I was told that it was a nice school so we'll go back this lunchtime. Will also go to see Imperial Gate and Pine Fields in Lekki today. I want to pack all this in before work builds up as I'm told 5am finishes are not unheard of. I'll post some pictures a bit later in the day...
Monday, 12 May 2008
I've survived week one!
Written on Monday 12/05/08Greetings all,
My apologies in the delay in putting the start of the week’s blog up yesterday. This was due to the long long time to load up photographs. Maybe my photographs are massive in which case I’ll go back and read the manual . Anyway, let’s continue…
I was told - ''You haven't worked in Nigeria???? They will kill you, they will eat you alive, you can't do it!". Well here I am, and at least I have survived the first week, with my Hawes and Curtis shirts shining and my blackberry intact (take my word for it, a blackberry shows that you have arrived, in certain circles that is).
Anyway, moving swiftly on, I was in the office today at 7.07am! That's Nigeria banking hours for you. I have never ever been in any office that early in my life and I wasn't even the first one in. I had left my VI hotel on Friday after they told me it would cost N300 to iron each item of my clothes and I quickly realised that either I would be shelling our extravagant sums of money on ironing and food (circa N2000 per hotel dinner) or I had better move quickly to the more relaxed, free food environment of family. Family are great, however distant, in Nigeria you will always find someone to welcome you with open arms.
So my time in Lekki started Friday evening. I had booked an agent for Saturday 10am and was calling the agent by 9.30am to find out if we were still on. This is following on from confirmation on Friday that he would be there on time. Come Sat morning, the agent had switched off his phone and I haven't heard from him since. Did get shown around by another agent abt 1pm. Off we went to see a ground floor flat in a nice estate called Treasure Gardens. This fully serviced ground floor flat was on at the minor sum of N3.5m. I repeat, it was on the ground floor so I would be first on the menu for any hungry robbers in the night and you still pay for the electricity and N350,000 per annum for service charge. Don't get me wrong, the estate was very nice - see picture below, but 3.5 is slightly over my budget considering that I would rather save up over time to buy a place than pay all that cash to some happy landlord...
Pictures above are as follows
1. The N3.5m flat in Treasure Gardens
2. Another nice picture of the estate
Friday, 9 May 2008
Flat Hunting
Tomorrow, I'm going to go and see some flats. This should be exciting.
I've already been asked if I am seeking a serviced apartment or an unserviced appartment. The serviced appartment is quoted at circa N3.5m per annum which equates to circa 14,000 pounds. Please bear in mind that it's two years up-front thank you very much. The serviced appartment will provide you with 24/7 electricity (theoretically) and water (I believe) and a general very nice ambience which you can enjoy with your fellow monied crew of expats, oil people, new money and one or two despots to add colour.
The non serviced appartment is quoted at a figure of circa N2.5m+ per annum which equates to about 10,000 pounds a year (again, two years in advance thank you very much, and no money back guarantees either). The un-serviced appartment comes supplied with the government electricity company (NEPA) fluctuating power supply that destroys your electrical goods unless you have a buffer, trickles of water in the bathroom and goodness knows what else. Sorry I was just pulling your leg - probably not that bad as this is still Lekki after all, but you get the picture.
Mmmmmm which to go for, which to go for, can't decide. Just a mere 4,000 pounds difference between the bliss of constant light and the non-bliss of my son screaming when his power-rangers video goes off for no reason. I think I'll go for the un-serviced. I am in investment after-all and I can smell some over-pricing going on. How much is a generator after all (famous last words before saying "if only...). Maybe I can magic the additional 4,000 pounds to come out of the sea.
As an aside, Nigeria's per capita income in Nigeria is about 1100 pounds ($2200 2007 est) per annum. Is it the same country we are living in...?
I've already been asked if I am seeking a serviced apartment or an unserviced appartment. The serviced appartment is quoted at circa N3.5m per annum which equates to circa 14,000 pounds. Please bear in mind that it's two years up-front thank you very much. The serviced appartment will provide you with 24/7 electricity (theoretically) and water (I believe) and a general very nice ambience which you can enjoy with your fellow monied crew of expats, oil people, new money and one or two despots to add colour.
The non serviced appartment is quoted at a figure of circa N2.5m+ per annum which equates to about 10,000 pounds a year (again, two years in advance thank you very much, and no money back guarantees either). The un-serviced appartment comes supplied with the government electricity company (NEPA) fluctuating power supply that destroys your electrical goods unless you have a buffer, trickles of water in the bathroom and goodness knows what else. Sorry I was just pulling your leg - probably not that bad as this is still Lekki after all, but you get the picture.
Mmmmmm which to go for, which to go for, can't decide. Just a mere 4,000 pounds difference between the bliss of constant light and the non-bliss of my son screaming when his power-rangers video goes off for no reason. I think I'll go for the un-serviced. I am in investment after-all and I can smell some over-pricing going on. How much is a generator after all (famous last words before saying "if only...). Maybe I can magic the additional 4,000 pounds to come out of the sea.
As an aside, Nigeria's per capita income in Nigeria is about 1100 pounds ($2200 2007 est) per annum. Is it the same country we are living in...?
The sensitive matter of food in the office
Yep, we all gotta eat. Picture the scene - you are in England. You are used to eating a sandwich for lunch. It's healthy, you don't feel like a pig afterwards and you can get through the rest of the day without falling asleep at your desk.
Picture this...
I'm in my office in Naija (Nigeria for the non-Nigerians). You no longer go hunting for food as you used to do. Down the steps, across the road, wait a bit, collect the food, back up the steps and voila you've built up an appetite after being at your desk all morning. Oh no, here you phone your order through and they bring the food all the way to you. And this is not a sandwich we are talking about. Fully fledged meals of rice, chicken, plantain etc washed down with big cartons of juice. I've already put on a couple of pounds in a week. What will happend to me over a few years. My neck will stretch to twice it's width and so will my belly.
I must find a way to smuggle in my sandwiches. And when my colleagues see me and start laughing at me with derision at least I know I'll have the last laugh when my neck does not grow big. They already look at me unbelievably when I jog up those 8 flights of steps rather than taking the lift...
As an aside, I'm impressed at the level of knowledge my colleagues have. Because a lot of the capital markets stuff is all new, there's not yet a depth of experience and hence there's no division of labour. You get mid level people who have taken companies to the market, who are heading stock broking divisions, who are advising firms on corporate finance strategy, who have been involved in real estate investments from start to finish. I'm supposed to be leading them - gulp. In the west, especially in London, there is so much availability of talent that you are compartmentalised into a speciality and have no clue how to take the whole thing from start to finish. No such over-availability of talent here. By the way, we need a fund account...
p.s. Thanks for the comments guys, keep them coming...
Picture this...
I'm in my office in Naija (Nigeria for the non-Nigerians). You no longer go hunting for food as you used to do. Down the steps, across the road, wait a bit, collect the food, back up the steps and voila you've built up an appetite after being at your desk all morning. Oh no, here you phone your order through and they bring the food all the way to you. And this is not a sandwich we are talking about. Fully fledged meals of rice, chicken, plantain etc washed down with big cartons of juice. I've already put on a couple of pounds in a week. What will happend to me over a few years. My neck will stretch to twice it's width and so will my belly.
I must find a way to smuggle in my sandwiches. And when my colleagues see me and start laughing at me with derision at least I know I'll have the last laugh when my neck does not grow big. They already look at me unbelievably when I jog up those 8 flights of steps rather than taking the lift...
As an aside, I'm impressed at the level of knowledge my colleagues have. Because a lot of the capital markets stuff is all new, there's not yet a depth of experience and hence there's no division of labour. You get mid level people who have taken companies to the market, who are heading stock broking divisions, who are advising firms on corporate finance strategy, who have been involved in real estate investments from start to finish. I'm supposed to be leading them - gulp. In the west, especially in London, there is so much availability of talent that you are compartmentalised into a speciality and have no clue how to take the whole thing from start to finish. No such over-availability of talent here. By the way, we need a fund account...
p.s. Thanks for the comments guys, keep them coming...
Thursday, 8 May 2008
Progress...
Ohhhhhh
I'm filling in my blog from work - In Nigeria! I'm also feeling perkier today compared to the last few days. I've arranged to go and view properties in Lekki over the weekend, I've got in touch with a few friends and my work colleague has invited me over for lunch at his place over the wkend.
I just came back from a lunchtime walk. Walking around most parts of Lagos is an adventure. You have to make way for the motorcycle taxis (Okada's), the mad drivers who honk their horns as if they are playing music and try to see how many pedestrians they can knock down and all the others who's mantra is "a fool and his mobile phone are soon parted" not to mention the sun beating down on your head. But, hey, if I had wanted to stay in an air-conditioned office all day, I shouldn't have left London (not in summer anyway).
I have a lovely view of the sea from my office so on that note - lets have some photographs (beating drums, dancing girls, blog rocks and rolls) p.s.I don't yet know how to attach pictures directly into the text so the pictures are in a seperate posting below.
First picture is the view from my office in Victoria Island
Second, third and fourth picture are of carnival day at the fee paying school my in-laws children attend in Ikeja-I can't quite remember the name, I think it's Avi-Day or something like that. It's in Ikeja GRA near Grange School. The ladies in black and white stripes are the parent/teacher organisers. I did tell you it was a vibrant school...
I'm filling in my blog from work - In Nigeria! I'm also feeling perkier today compared to the last few days. I've arranged to go and view properties in Lekki over the weekend, I've got in touch with a few friends and my work colleague has invited me over for lunch at his place over the wkend.
I just came back from a lunchtime walk. Walking around most parts of Lagos is an adventure. You have to make way for the motorcycle taxis (Okada's), the mad drivers who honk their horns as if they are playing music and try to see how many pedestrians they can knock down and all the others who's mantra is "a fool and his mobile phone are soon parted" not to mention the sun beating down on your head. But, hey, if I had wanted to stay in an air-conditioned office all day, I shouldn't have left London (not in summer anyway).
I have a lovely view of the sea from my office so on that note - lets have some photographs (beating drums, dancing girls, blog rocks and rolls) p.s.I don't yet know how to attach pictures directly into the text so the pictures are in a seperate posting below.
First picture is the view from my office in Victoria Island
Second, third and fourth picture are of carnival day at the fee paying school my in-laws children attend in Ikeja-I can't quite remember the name, I think it's Avi-Day or something like that. It's in Ikeja GRA near Grange School. The ladies in black and white stripes are the parent/teacher organisers. I did tell you it was a vibrant school...
Tuesday, 6 May 2008
Day 4 in Nigeria
Good grief,
that was a long time away in the life of a blog. I apologise for the delay to all my many readers. I was under a lot of pressure tying up loose ends before leaving and have just now found a computer (I'm now in Lagos) with internet access that I can use.
Anyway, I'll catch up as follows...
Friday night
After a hectic few days, I flew out of London on the 10.30pm Virgin Atlantic flight bound for Lagos arrival time Saturday 5.30am. The flight was fine. I was opportuned to have a Premium Economy ticket which is VA's business class so went through priority check-in and had a nice wide seat. The inflight entertainment was abandoned in preference of some much needed shut-eye. My mind was churning...
Saturday 5.30am!!!
NIGERIAAAAA
Good grief. The flight went so fast I could have been somewhere in Europe on a nice vacation. Murtala Mohammed Airport was very straightforward. No problems with passport or luggage or anything to declare or "wetin u carry" of the good old days. Rather civilised old chap and a good day to you too. Or maybe it was just too early. It was great to see my in-law strolling up to meet me. It's always great seeing your people at any airport I suppose. Lagos had not changed one jot(on the outside anyway)
As an aside, Its time I started putting up some pictures. As they say "a picture tells a thousand words..."
I settled in a bit and on the same afternoon I came in, I went with my cousin in-law to the kids carnival/bazaar at their (private) school. It was very vibrant and full of life. My kids would love the school but coming from England, I would probably be seeking something a bit more restrained. I saw at least two friends from the past so that was nice. We discussed the merits of coming home or staying in Nigeria.
Sunday
went to The Palms shopping centre in Lekki. I was blown away. Really. I could have been in Brent Cross with a Tescos in it. I was overwhelmed cos I was wondering how we would navigate the markets to buy meat and vegetables and what not. But this was something else. Rows and rows of fruit juices, fresh meat counters, patisseries, DIY tools and every model of jeep parked outside. Wow I was blown away. Lekki is the yuppy part of Lagos by the way.
Monday
First day at work. If there was no work, it would be nice but then you would get bored. I was really excited about the type of work but the hours are long. The people are cool and my boss is cool but the hours are long.
Tuesday
It's 11.16pm and I am staying in a hotel. I've been put up for a month courtesy of my bank. We went to two hotels before this one. Both fully booked. The proprietor (from The Lebanon) said it is all going down in Lagos and he expects to be fully booked till the end of the year. Lagos is booming! Things are happening over-night. Everybody wants it all and wants it now.
As an aside, I'm working on Private Equity, Real Estate, Oil and Gas and anything else that has an equity component (bank investing their own money). You can probably read between the lines and see that I'm a bit overwhelmed. New country, new job, new ways of transacting business, new accomodation, new shools for the kids, new cars and working from 8am-7pm. It will all come together with time, but as for now I am overwhelmed and I miss my family who are back in London. Anyway, as I always say "God is in control". I'm off to bed - Good night.
that was a long time away in the life of a blog. I apologise for the delay to all my many readers. I was under a lot of pressure tying up loose ends before leaving and have just now found a computer (I'm now in Lagos) with internet access that I can use.
Anyway, I'll catch up as follows...
Friday night
After a hectic few days, I flew out of London on the 10.30pm Virgin Atlantic flight bound for Lagos arrival time Saturday 5.30am. The flight was fine. I was opportuned to have a Premium Economy ticket which is VA's business class so went through priority check-in and had a nice wide seat. The inflight entertainment was abandoned in preference of some much needed shut-eye. My mind was churning...
Saturday 5.30am!!!
NIGERIAAAAA
Good grief. The flight went so fast I could have been somewhere in Europe on a nice vacation. Murtala Mohammed Airport was very straightforward. No problems with passport or luggage or anything to declare or "wetin u carry" of the good old days. Rather civilised old chap and a good day to you too. Or maybe it was just too early. It was great to see my in-law strolling up to meet me. It's always great seeing your people at any airport I suppose. Lagos had not changed one jot(on the outside anyway)
As an aside, Its time I started putting up some pictures. As they say "a picture tells a thousand words..."
I settled in a bit and on the same afternoon I came in, I went with my cousin in-law to the kids carnival/bazaar at their (private) school. It was very vibrant and full of life. My kids would love the school but coming from England, I would probably be seeking something a bit more restrained. I saw at least two friends from the past so that was nice. We discussed the merits of coming home or staying in Nigeria.
Sunday
went to The Palms shopping centre in Lekki. I was blown away. Really. I could have been in Brent Cross with a Tescos in it. I was overwhelmed cos I was wondering how we would navigate the markets to buy meat and vegetables and what not. But this was something else. Rows and rows of fruit juices, fresh meat counters, patisseries, DIY tools and every model of jeep parked outside. Wow I was blown away. Lekki is the yuppy part of Lagos by the way.
Monday
First day at work. If there was no work, it would be nice but then you would get bored. I was really excited about the type of work but the hours are long. The people are cool and my boss is cool but the hours are long.
Tuesday
It's 11.16pm and I am staying in a hotel. I've been put up for a month courtesy of my bank. We went to two hotels before this one. Both fully booked. The proprietor (from The Lebanon) said it is all going down in Lagos and he expects to be fully booked till the end of the year. Lagos is booming! Things are happening over-night. Everybody wants it all and wants it now.
As an aside, I'm working on Private Equity, Real Estate, Oil and Gas and anything else that has an equity component (bank investing their own money). You can probably read between the lines and see that I'm a bit overwhelmed. New country, new job, new ways of transacting business, new accomodation, new shools for the kids, new cars and working from 8am-7pm. It will all come together with time, but as for now I am overwhelmed and I miss my family who are back in London. Anyway, as I always say "God is in control". I'm off to bed - Good night.
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